It’s winter

This post was supposed to be about people who changed my life. But there are very few to count. I owe almost everything to a single man who is no longer among us. The rest is emptiness, silence, nothingness. Life has given me a lot of things but, in exchange, it took its toll.

When I was a little girl I used to ask myself “Why did I come in this world?” When I grew older the question was “What is my true calling in this world?” Now I keep asking myself “Why am I alone in this world?” And, from time to time, “Why did he come into my life?” “He” is always a variable in my equation, never positive enough to give the proper result. Anytime I am leaving or I see people leaving, I am asking myself what could have been the divine reasoning for our paths coming across. Maybe to learn a new song, maybe to learn how to hit a nail or just to get warm hugs until the winter ends.

This is a moment when I take all my memories out as if they were pictures in an old photo album that you had forgotten in a dusty suitcase. I look at them and sometimes I wonder who the faces in the pictures are. Then I put them back and swear I will never look at them again. Until the winter comes…